While they are far from straightforward, contact visits can be important for the foster child’s well-being in terms of feeling some sense of “belonging” somewhere. Learning to manage these relationships can lead to better results for all parties.
Before visits, foster carers have to make preparations. Talk to the child about what can be understood in an age-appropriate language. Young children will need basic responses, while teens should have candid dialogue surrounding the purpose and his or her feelings about attending. Do not predict results that are out of your hands.
Whether or not it is a period of contact or a one-off, both invoke emotions and need handling in a sensitive way. Challenging behaviour is often a sign of processing what can be quite complex events so do not take their responses personally. This is normal — offer assurance and keep routines the same to make them feel safe. For advice on Foster Care Neath, visit https://saferfostering.org.uk/foster-care-wales/neath/
Children need a post-visit of their experience to consolidate and integrate it. Just as it is with adults, some kids will talk right away and others need time to process the experience. Younger children may benefit from expressing their feelings through art, play or writing.
Record keeping supports ongoing assessments. Observe the behaviour of your child and his or her comments before & after visits. Providing this information assists social workers and the court to determine appropriate contact arrangements in the future.
Self-care is still essential during this time. Foster carers can find contact visits draining as well. Find help from a supervising social worker, other foster carers or professional counselling when needed.
Keep perspective — you are helping to keep families together and giving children the stability they need.
